The Missing Component

As I close my eyes and drift away to a land where there is love, health, peace, and blessings. I wanted to take the time to think and reflect.

     I have often written about the idea of self-care. Maybe many who have read my ideas pertaining to self-care though that these ideas are driven from a selfish perspective of human nature? Or maybe it is because I know what the effects or consequence is of not taking care of the self? Nevertheless, I continue to value the idea, and place importance on this. Because regardless of who is surrounding you, or even if you are blessed with companions or friends, ultimately you, are the care taker of you. You know your self the best from within.

     Whilst of course I think that having a support system, or network is a blessing, we do have to realize that networks and support systems can truly be healthy if those that make up the systems are also healthy, mind and body. We could think about the consequence of burn out, feeling overwhelmed, the loss of hope, anguish, despair, all emotional labels that cannot be viewed externally (depending on severity), but can be felt internally. 

    Whilst I do place high value on these ideas, individuals and groups from various cultures might not understand this, especially where there are collectives, groups or support systems that have been depending on each other from generation to generation. We can think about eastern civilizations, or tribal groups in Africa or Latin America, but there are also collectives that are from within individualistic societies. These systems can and do offer support to each other. However, bearing the burden of another often arrives with a cost, such as health risks. 

     So in a sense, whilst one who is  orientated within a group, receive love, support, validation, and a sense of belonging, because of sharing burdens or grief, ultimately there are risks and health factors involved. Essentially where there is give there is take. Where there is take, there is give. Now I'm not saying that theres anything wrong with belonging within a system of any kind. What I am saying is that if one is participating actively within these circles, one must also realize the need to take the time to care for the self. Often when individuals belonging to a group do decide to care for the self, they will more likely be viewed as selfish.

​Its not just me saying this. Psychological studies predict lower levels of well-bing in collectivist cultures and higher in individualistic cultures (Triandis, 2010). However, I am not advocating for either. Having support, finding someone who really does care about you, networks, or support systems offer value. They are an investment. But it is the piece of loving, care for the self, that must also be placed within the systems to continue to offer the full value. Which often means an understanding from the group, rather than judgments.

Quotes:
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"...understanding collective consciousness, just as cognition, feeling, and will are significant for understanding individual consciousness"
(Triandis, 2010, p. 61).

"...Culture is shared understandings" (2010, p. 62).

"...humans are an expression of thier culture" (p. 64).


My Thoughts to Share with Love & Kindness! :)

Notes: These thoughts were originally hand-written on November 6th, 2018.

Reference:
Triandis, H.C. (2010). Culture and psychology: A history of the study of their relationship. In S. Kitayama & D. Cohen (Eds.), Handbook of cultural psychology, (pp.59-76). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
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